Perfectly imperffect:

Connected by compassion and curiosity

By Polly Campbell on November 26, 2012

Notes from the Book Tour:

It’s been a fast-paced few weeks since the launch ofImperfect Spirituality: Extraordinary Enlightenment for Ordinary People  Nov. 1  in Portland. I’ve been to San Francisco and throughout Marin County, Seattle, Vancouver B.C. and Los Angeles with more stops on the schedule.

I’ve met scores of people during workshops and readings. And, after all these months sitting in a quiet room to work on the book, it was a good feeling to be able to visit with people face-to-face about this idea and practice of Imperfect Spirituality, which is really a practical way of accessing your spirit in any moment.

The tour has also served as  a master class for me. I’ve learned so much from the questions the people asked. Their comments and insights. I learned a lot about myself too. I was reminded about how resourceful and creative we become when we operate from spirit – I navigated the highways throughout Marin and San Francisco Counties without even freakin’, I did however draw on the practices I talk about to stay calm and present.

Here are a few of the things I was reminded of this last week:

• I could never be a rockstar. This kind of travelling is tough and I’m not sure I’d want to go on the road for months at a time; though it is kind of funny to sling that phrase “go on the road” around.

• People are wise and kind. We are connected, not only by our imperfections, but also our compassion, and our desire to do good in the world, to uplift others and feel happier. To learn and grow and connect.

• Many folks are now realizing that the solution to any problem is within. They are learning about themselves and pulling their mind-bodies-spirits into alignment to fully experience their lives instead of looking outside of themselves and waiting for someone else to do it.

• There is a shift in how we think about spirituality. It is no longer considered whoo-whoo or “out there” it is accessible and practical and folks are looking for ways to use these practices in daily life to reduce stress and just feel better.

• We feel better when we are growing, expansive, engaged.

And another thing I was reminded of was how energizing it is to be connected to you passion and working from purpose. I drove hundreds of miles, was up early, often by 4 or 5 a.m. in order to make the commute, and usually worked into the night, and yet, when I had a chance to walk into a bookstore and  talk to others about this stuff, I felt excited and energized and ready to go.

When we are doing what matters to us, what we feel contributes positively to the planet, we become aligned with our spirit and that is an expansive and energizing place to be. Today then, play in your passion, at least a little bit, or commit to exploring just what you might be passionate about. It will not only shift the energy for you and help you feel better in the day, but the momentum will catch up the rest of us.

During a terrific service at the Unity Church of San Francisco with Rev. Maggie Shannon Oman, we talked about how easily we get caught up in the routine of our lives. We brush our teeth and make the breakfast and pack the lunch and commute to work and finish the deadline and rush to the kids’ swim meet, head home to come up with dinner, do the chores and head to bed. Every day. When we spend all of our time doing the things we think we should do or ought to do, we push out the things we are passionate about. Make it your mission this week to save a little time each day to do something that makes your heart sing.

I think you’ll find, like I did, that not only will you feel excited and happier in your life, you will also be more productive and energized when you take on the other tasks in your day

Heart-Healing Advice Can Help You Live "Happily Even After"

Heart-Healing Advice June 2012 Carol Brody Fleet has helped thousands of people across the country in her work with Widows Wear Stilettos by providing tools, wisdom, and even a friendly shoulder to cry on, teaching people how to deal and how to heal. Now, millions have the opportunity to see and hear her wisdom as she hits the airwaves, featured on Great Day St. Louis and a live web chat on Widowed Village. She will also appear on Conscious Discussion Radio on July 10th, and The Cindy Laverty Show on July 20th. Come see Carole in person atWarwick's in La Jolla on June 28th and at Camp Widow West Coast in San Diego on August 10th. Happily Even After  A Guide to Getting Through (and Beyond) the Grief of Widowhood by Carole Fleet "What a comfort to know that while no one wants to 'need' it, there is a book that will help widows in a unique, compassionate and con- temporary way. Encouraging a smile while tackling tough subjects and providing necessary support and education, this book will be in- valuable to those so badly in need." —Lee Woodruff, Family Contributor, ABC News' Good Morning America; New York Times #1 bestselling author, In an Instant… and Perfectly Imperfect More · Buy Carole Brody Fleet  "Carole has written what I consider the widows' bible. She shows us the way to 'good grief,' and I will be recommending this book for years to come." —Linda Hawes Clever, author of The Fatigue Prescription

Viva Editions, an imprint of Cleis Press, 2246 Sixth St., Berkeley, CA 94710

Excerpt of the Day: "The Power of WOW" by Lori Bryant-Woolridge

Looking to get your sexy back, to feel good in your own body in the place you stand today?  Welcome to Stiletto University!  With Lori Bryant-Woolridge as your instructor, you’re sure to find your sexy and become more confident in yourself.  The user-friendly, nine-week program in her book The Power of WOW breaks down that elusive WOW factor — and then gives you proven techniques to elevate your esteem and maximize your sensuality.  And isn’t that what we all want?

**stilettos not required

Here’s a look at The Power of WOW:

“I want to be less self-conscious and more comfortable in my own skin.”

“After finding out about his affair, my self-esteem has been shattered. I want my sexy back, not for him, but for me.”

“I wish I could be more aggressive when it comes to sex, but I don’t want to seem loose.”

“At forty-two, I want to truly enjoy sex with my mate.”

“Between kids and work, I don’t have the time or energy to be sexy.”

“I want to feel sexy and confident in all aspects of my life, not just the bedroom.”

“I seem to be projecting the wrong something, because I’m still manless.”

“I’m tired of being alone.”

Sound all too familiar? Kind of like the conversations you and your girlfriends have been having for years? Since you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’re feeling somewhat lacking in the sensuality/sex/romance departments of your life and you’re looking for a remedy.

Well, happily, you’re in the right place. And kudos to you for even picking up this book, because admitting to yourself that you’re not on top of your game in the womanly wiles department takes courage. I’m mean, we’re supposed to know all this stuff, right? How to be sensual and alluring and dynamite in and out of bed.

Like her.

You know who I’m talking about. Ms. Thing. You’re sitting in a bar minding your own business, thinking you’re looking cute and hoping someone else is going to think so too. And then here she comes. She sashays confidently into the room oblivious to the fact that all eyes, including yours, are on her. She’s wearing the perfect little black dress (the one you’ve been searching for but always see on some other woman) and strutting over to the bar in a way that makes every body part sway with come-hither appeal. It’s a walk that brings men to her side and sends women into private places to practice. You feel both jealousy and admiration toward this diva. Talk about paling by comparison. Suddenly, you don’t feel so cute. And of course, she sits down right next to you and instead of ordering the cocktail du jour like every other girl in the room asks for some drink you’ve never heard of.

On closer inspection, you see that she’s more striking than beautiful. More sensuous than sexy. Of course, within minutes, some Chris Rock-looking guy is elbowing you out of the way to get to her. You watch her handle the admirer, graciously accepting his compliments with a “you’re-so-sweet- but-this-is-never-going-to-happen” smile and sending him back to his friends thinking he’s Denzel Washington. You realize then that the key to her irresistible charm is confidence. This is a woman who is totally at ease with herself. A woman to study and emulate, not envy.

She has the power. That indefinable “wow” that seems to inhabit a lucky few and evade the rest of us. But you want it too. But where did she get it? And where do you start?

Excerpt of the Day: "Use Your Words" by Kate Hopper

All you mommies and mommies-to-be with a passion for—or minuscule interest in—writing will love Kate Hopper’s Use Your Words.  This writing guide for mothers allows you the opportunity to grow as a writer, chapter-by-chapter, and leads you through the process of turning your motherhood story into art.

Here’s a little taste of what’s inside:

Reading about other mothers’ lives and experiences has expanded my world. To be able to walk in someone else’s shoes, whether it’s for a moment or an hour or a few days, is an incredible gift. I have gained insight into parenting and the human experience.

The stories I’ve read and listened to have ranged from light and funny to heartbreaking, and there is room for all of these stories as a part of motherhood literature.

In the introduction to their anthology Mothers: Twenty Stories of Contemporary Motherhood, Kathleen Hirsch and Katrina Kenison write, “It takes courage to write about motherhood in a culture that sets women with children on the sidelines, and it takes even greater courage to give voice to the powerful emotions and fears that swirl deep beneath the surface of our daily lives, informing and shaping our relationships with our children and the world at large.”

We all have stories to tell. Whether we tell these stories is another question. It does take courage to write about motherhood, to explore writing about our children and our roles as mothers, to “give voice to the emotions and fears that swirl deep beneath the surface” of our daily lives.

I hope this book will help give you the courage to get your mother stories down on paper. How often have you said, “Use your words!” to your children? How often have you heard other parents utter that phrase? Now it’s your turn. I designed this book to help guide you on your journey as a mother writer and help you find the most effective way to tell the stories you need to tell.

Excerpt of the Day: "Happily Even After" by Carole Brody Fleet

We’re excited to have Carole Brody Fleet visiting the office this Wednesday for our Twitter Party!  Interested in asking Carole your questions?  You can join us on Twitter between 3 and 4PM (PST), using the hashtag #happilybook.

You can also meet Carole at these Bay Area Locations!

6/6/12 11:00AM Towne Center Books, Pleasanton, CA

6/6/12 5:00-6:00PM Books Inc. Alameda, Alameda, CA

6/6/12 7:00PM A Great Good Place for Books, Oakland, CA

6/7/12 7:30PM East-West Bookshop, Mountain View, CA

Here’s an excerpt from Carole Brody Fleet’s book Happily Even After:

“Who am I?”

“What do I do now?”

As I lay on my couch the day after Mike’s funeral, in my stunningly attractive penguin-printed flannel pajamas with the feet in them, these two questions repeatedly turned over and over in my mind. They were burned into my brain; they were etched into my “soul with a hole.” Day after day, I continue to just lie there, pondering these two questions. I didn’t open the blinds. I’m not entirely sure that I ate anything. I just lay there thinking: “Who am I?” and “What do I do now?”

Not only are these understandably daunting questions, these are by far the two most frequently asked questions by widows. The funeral is over with and everyone has gone home and returned to their lives, yet for you, the reality of widowhood and the building of a new life has just begun. You are left without any sense of direction, and in many cases, without even a sense of self. You are simply left…alone.

You may be surprised to learn that the “What Now?” of widowhood isn’t limited to only those who have been recently widowed. You may have been widowed for quite awhile and feel as though you are still trapped in the “Who Am I?/What Do I Do Now?” phase of your Healing Journey, wanting oh-so-much to move forward and not having an inkling as to how to begin.

Let’s then examine the questions and concerns regarding the “beginning”—this most important part of your Healing Journey—as well as some of the ways that you can begin to slowly refocus and rebuild into a promising new life of your own. Whether your loss happened last week, last year, or last decade, let this very moment be a new start for you. It is time for your Widowtude Adjustment to begin.

We are meant to love 24/7 -every chance we get!

by Judy Ford

Viva Editions, $15.95, 263 pages

Life is too short not to show those you love how much you care every day. This is the basis of Judy Ford’s book Every Day Love: The Delicate Art of Caring for Each Other. Ford is a family counselor with 25+ years of experience and in her practice she found that it’s easy for people to fall in love. It is sustaining love from day to day that is the hard part.

Ford presents her ideas in a conversational style that is accessible and non-threatening. Each idea is followed by a love lesson – suggestions you can implement now to make important changes in your life. These lessons aren’t just meant for couples, but can be utilized to strengthen any relationship you want to improve. Each section is no more than a few pages so the book is perfect for browsing or reading on the go. But don’t be surprised if you read the book in one night. There are exercises for every type of learner. Ford suggests journaling, reciting daily mantras, and meditation, just to name a few. With this book, you’ll learn about yourself and your ability to love and be loved.

Reviewed by Kathryn Franklin

being grateful even in the tough time

As the debt ceiling looms, it seems inevitable that we're going to be asked to tighten our belts again. Nina Lesowitz and Mary Beth Sammons have created three transformative tools to help us remember that we have much to be grateful for, no matter what, and exercising gratitude each day will strengthen your spirit, quiet your mind and open your heart.


The Gratitude Power Workbook
Transform Fear into Courage, Anger into Forgiveness, Isolation into Belonging


Discover the positive power of gratitude

No matter where you are on your life's journey, you can open The Gratitude Power Workbook to find inspiration for change. By taking just five minutes a day with the stories, practices, meditations, exercises, and questions offered here, you'll find yourself moving towards a happier and more fulfilling life. Like building a spiritual muscle, exercising gratitude each day will strengthen your spirit, quiet your mind, and open your heart. The Gratitude Power Workbook can be your soul's daily companion—and one of the most important books you'll ever own.


The gratitude power circle of authors Lesowitz and Sammons, along with Viva Editions Associate Publisher and the editor of THE GRATITUDE POWER WORKBOOK Brenda Knight, are back out on the road and airwaves evangelizing their message that an attitude of gratitude can turn your life around. You can listen to most of these interviews on-line in the future:

Positively Incorrect with Scott Cluthe, listen on-line
The Mary Jones Show, WDRC-AM, Hartford, Connecticut, July 13
The Broad Perspective Radio, listen on-line
I'm Thankful Network Radio with Sue Lundquist, July 23
Empower Radio, August 1 at 9:00 a.m. EST
Relationship 101 with Dr. Beth Erickson, August 2 at 2:00 p.m. PST
Vivid Life Radio, August 17 at 11:00 a.m. EST
Coach Betty Live, August 17 at 3:30 p.m. PST
Life with Direction with Sharon Quirt, Vivid Life Radio, August 17 at 2:00 p.m. EST
Queen of Dreams Radio, August 18 at 8:00 p.m. CST
Questing Radio, August 23 at 11:00 a.m. PST
Waves of the New Age Radio, September 6 at 3:30 p.m. EST
Lunch with Loveologist Wendy Stgar, LA Talk Radio, September 7 at noon
Inside Personal Growth Radio, air date to come

And you can read Mary Beth Sammon's words of wisdom in the October issue of Essence.



Living Life as a Thank You
The Transformative Power of Daily Gratitude
Living as if each day is a thank you can help transform fear into courage, anger into forgiveness, and isolation into belonging. The authors present a simple yet comprehensive approach for incorporating gratitude into one's life and reaping its many benefits. Whatever is given—even a challenging moment—is a gift. With this book, you will be able to feel more connected to the flow of life and less alone in your struggles and fears.



More · Buy

The Courage Companion
How to Live Life with True Power
If ever there was a time for courage, it's now. In The Courage Companion, the co-authors of the bestselling Living Life as a Thank You present stories of extraordinary fortitude. These true tales not only invite the reader to "tap into—and hold onto—our inner strength when times get tough and when we're feeling all alone," but also act as guides to inspire anyone to just do it, whatever that "it" may be.



More · Buy

a love letter contest -enter and win!

San Francisco / Relationships / Relationship Advice
Write a love letter to Queen Elizabeth contest

May 20th, 2011 10:21 am PT
Janet Gallin, Love Letters Live
SF Love Letter Examiners
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Brenda Knight, San Francisco author and associate publisher of Cleis Press and Viva Editions, recently emailed me the following bit of information with the simple note, “You can have fun with this, right?” Well, yes, I can, and so can you.

Brenda has offered a prize of one of her wonderful books for the best letter to the Queen. Of course, you’ll be extolled on facebook and twitter as our winners and also be given the spot of honor here to share your winning letter with the Examiner.com readers.

Privilege has not shielded Queen Elizabeth or any of her family from sadness or tragedy. Personally, I think she has been absolutely heroic in maintaining her dignity through six decades of wrenching social changes and having to adapt publicly to unasked-for challenges in her family and political life. I think she deserves pile of love letters.

Remember that a love letter is not just for romance, but for any gratitude, appreciation, support, friendship or reviving times long past.

If you wish to write a formal letter, you should open with 'Madam' and close the letter with the form 'I have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servant'. This traditional approach is by no means obligatory. You should feel free to write in whatever style you feel comfortable.

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In honor of her coronation anniversary on June 2nd, please email me a copy of the letter you write to her at info@loveletterslive.com by contest deadline of noon May 29th. As Queen Elizabeth apparently does not have an email address (or a last name) you will have to write to her at home. Snail mail. And won’t that be nice when in another 200 years they are unearthed by someone and become part of her history and your part in it?

The address is:
Her Majesty the Queen
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A AA

I've just mailed mine and am eager to hear what you all say. And, thank you Brenda for thinking of this and offering the prize.

From me to you with love in the air,
Janet

By Janet Gallin, Love Letters Live
SF Love Letter Examiners
Janet Gallin hosts the weekly San Francisco talk-show" Love Letters Live" on KUSF, live-stream (KUSF.org. Click “Listen”) Wednesdays from 7:30 -8 p... Read more
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Continue reading on Examiner.com: Write a love letter to Queen Elizabeth contest - San Francisco love letter | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/love-letter-in-san-francisco/write-a-love-letter-to-queen-elizabeth-contest#ixzz1MuvEX0EU

Some radical common sense about the way we live:

Fight Fatigue and Up Your Energy -- But Not By Finding Balance

By: Christine Egan | Comment

previous post | next post

If you’re tired of feeling tired all the time (both physically and mentally), as well as particularly stressed out with no energy level to speak of, I may just have the answer for you. Or rather, Linda Hawes Clever, M.D., author of the new book The Fatigue Prescription: Four Steps to Renewing Your Energy, Healthy, and Life may just have the answer for you. (And guess what? The answer is not balance!) This book is no pretentious meditation on the concept of fatigue: It’s a practical, no-nonsense guide filled with concrete tips on how to make your life better. And what could be better than that? (Besides feeling less fatigued, of course, and Dr. Clever also helps us with that dilemma.) The Fatigue Prescription is an interactive workbook both because of the way it’s laid out, and because I’m in the process of making it work for me. You should, too. But in the meantime, check out my Q&A with Dr. Clever about some of the finer points in her book:

Something you say on page 61 of “The Fatigue Prescription” literally stopped me in my tracks: “If your goal is to overcome fatigue, balance is not your ticket.” Whoa. This contradicts everything I’ve ever thought, read, or been taught about balance, which is that it’s something for which we should all strive. (But your take sounds oddly liberating.) So why shouldn’t balance shouldn’t be our ultimate life goal?

It’s not that I’m opposed to balance. It’s useful for easier living, yet it isn’t enough for whole and healthy living. I believe that balance is too difficult, too temporary, and often is someone else’s definition. Just watch a baby learning how to walk or an elderly person re-learning how to walk after a stroke. It’s hard. Whether walking, bicycling, or juggling many activities and priorities, finding balance is fleeting at best. It seems as if we snag a bit of time from one place—work—and slap it onto another place—say, a teacher’s meeting. That’s a very temporary solution and not at all satisfying. Also, who’s to say what the right “balance” is? Your neighbor? A friend (with household help and a nanny)? Your classmate? Balance isn’t a concept to get hung up on or to have as your ultimate goal. When you know your values, on the other hand, you can choose to live them, to set priorities based on them, to allot time according to them. This is good, solid ground — not shadowy, evanescent “balance.”

What roles do fear, anger, and not being able to let go of the past play in our overall level of fatigue?

Fear can be useful. It can get you out of trouble in a hurry, for example. Chronic fear, however, is paralyzing. Your body just isn’t meant to be fearful all of the time. Your body pressure, appetite, and even your muscles suffer (the latter because they may be tensed too much). Plus, you can’t always think clearly. This can lead to costly mistakes and impaired judgment, and those are exhausting. Being aware that you’re angry also can be helpful. Then you can re-use or re-direct the anger toward developing a constructive solution. Chronic anger or recurring anger can affect your body and blur judgment, just as fear can, as many have discovered. That’s tiring. Being able to “let go” is necessary for you to refill your energy bucket, clear your vision, regain your creativity, and move ahead. Not letting go means that you’re tired, unable to see and do new things with vitality, and immobilized. That can only bring you down.

Do people really need to have hobbies in order to be happy and healthy?

Not to duck the question, but it depends on how you define “hobby.” Many people consider a hobby something to do with your hands, as in a craft (quilting, painting) or collection (stamps, electric trains). I would be much more generous with the definition. A hobby is something that you find fun, engrossing, or expanding: Reading, biking, taking a course in Portuguese or Eritrean cuisine, or visiting all of the national parks. Part of your work could even be a hobby—learning a new program or specialty or becoming the company archivist. The point is, if you stop learning, you die. Also, all work and no play make you dull, sad, and, often, stuck. Whatever you call it, broaden your horizons and increase your zest with “hobbies.”

Can or should a person ever try to change their partner’s “bad” habits (slumped posture, bad breath, fear of going to the doctor, etc.) whether or not the partner is resistant to such change?

I can’t imagine anything more fruitless than trying to change a partner—unless the partner wants to change. (And the change would be for the partner’s sake, not yours.) Now, if you want to suffer, get at least two people irritated and grumpy, and enhance any existing passive-aggressiveness, then go for it. You might try, of course, to scatter some educational material around the house; enlist the help of friends, relatives, and a physician or dentist (I’m referring to the bad breath); and otherwise try to tip the scales. But the fact is, the only things you can control are your own behavior, your own attitude, and your own aspirations. On a good day. And on a very good day, you may influence your partner to change a behavior. A very, very good day.

Linda Hawes Clever, M.D., MACP, founder and president of the not-for-profit RENEW and Associate Dean for Alumni Affairs at Stanford University Medical School, is the author of the new book The Fatigue Prescription: Four Steps to Renewing Your Energy, Health, and Life. She received undergraduate and medical degrees from Stanford University. After interning at Stanford, she had several years of medical residency and fellowships at Stanford and the University of California, San Francisco. Dr. Clever is Board certified in Internal Medicine and Occupational Medicine.

Dr. Clever’s personal and professional interests center on health, “renewal” (the ever-necessary process of refreshing values, goals, and energy), leadership, building community, and the interactions of lives, health, and work.

Dr. Clever has been a pioneer in the care of immigrants and other low-income patients, training of nurse practitioners, humane treatment of AIDS patients in the workplace, and occupational health. She has led national, regional, and local medical and voluntary organizations and has written scores of papers, chapters, and editorials for medical journals, books, and newspapers.

Words to Eat By- Art and Lemons

← Let the Virtual Book Tour Begin! First Stop: Words to Eat By

NEXT STOP ON OUR VIRTUAL BOOK TOUR: ART & LEMONS

Posted on May 4, 2011 by Robin

Nikki Gardner of Art & Lemons

We’ve reached the second stop on our very exciting virtual book tour: Nikki Gardner’s gorgeous Art & Lemons blog. In Nikki’s own words, Art & Lemons is “about art, food, and story. I feature contemporary art and artists (especially photography), original vegetarian recipes made with whole and natural ingredients, and the stories that tie it all together.” Nikki’s Cauliflower with Brown Butter and Lemonsis irresistibly alluring—and these innocent-looking s’mores-esque Retro Grahams are screaming out for our attention. (You got it, little guys!)

Today Nikki shares a memory from her college days that fills us with nostalgia for smoky lounges, ’80s tunes, and the hearty and delicious vegetarian meals of our own collegiate lives. Visit Art & Lemons today to read about the May Birthday Celebration Dinner she’s planning, including our lemon vinaigrette and pasta with asparagus, leeks, and chevre recipes. While you’re there, take a few minutes to marvel at Nikki’s truly gorgeous food photography, and check out her featured artists, short stories, and, not to be missed, her The Lazy Gourmet giveaway.