How do I love thee, me?

How Do I Love Me? More Suggestions from Pros

posted by Daylle Deanna Schwartz | 12:01pm Monday January 23, 2012

Today is Day 23 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love.

I recently asked some experts how they show themselves love and included some in a post, to give you more ideas that you can use for yourself. Now I’ve got some more suggestions! I’m delighted to have some wonderful ones to share with you. By pampering your mind, body and spirit, you can build strong self-love, which is a magnet for loving things and people into your world. Here’s what they had to say:

Almost every morning I indulge in one fabulously sinful cappuccino creation involving whipped cream and—dare I confess?—a splash of Kahlua. Yes, this wicked indulgence often takes place prior to the sun rising; and yes, I understand if you don’t want me in your morning carpool now. But it’s a damn delicious way to start the day. Lisa McCourt, Unconditional love expert

In the shower, with nice smelling soap I pretend my hands are the hands of the best massage therapist in the whole universe for me. Then I lovingly soap up – especially paying attention to those places that I don’t like, or ignore (like my feet), or that are uncomfortable. I emerge feeling like a goddess. Katie Hawn, DC, Sleep Advocatewww.MagicNightsBook.com

I’m a morning person. I wake up early and get in exercise at least 5 days a week. I make sure that at least 2 of those days are a swimming workout (swimming is my all-time favourite activity). That’s my “me time.” I also have “splurged” on a couple of sprint triathlons in the last couple of years. They are expensive but give me a wonderful sense of accomplishment when I finish them. Finally, if I see a book that I would enjoy, I pick it up. Mariana Abeid-McDougall, BPHE, BA, BEd, CPT, CK, Owner, Personal Trainer, Achiever Fitness

One way I show myself love is by cooking healthy. It makes me happy and serene. When I was younger I was so frazzled that I never took the time to learn to cook and if I did cook something it definitely wasn’t healthy! So I’m loving myself and loving my body by taking care to use fresh, healthy ingredients in my home cooked food. Jayelle Hughes, author of Men Don’t Matter

Every Sunday evening, I take a hot epsom salt bath scented with essential oils then listen to the old radio shows (Dragnet, Gunsmoke, etc.) on the local NPR station until I drift off the sleep. Prior to doing this, I make a full pot of herbal tea and set aside a small plate of my favorite treats to enjoy after the bath. Brenda Coleman, Health & Wellness Coach

Once a week, usually on Sunday, I take a long bubble bath. Yes, bubbles. While there, I watch reality TV on my laptop (just set it on a stool a few feet away from the tub). Sometimes I paint my toe nails too. I just give myself some time to be alone and relaxed. When I can (usually once every few months), I go get a massage instead of taking my bubble bath. It’s like me-time and uber-me-time! Taking time to do nothing “productive” is actually one of the most productive things you can do for yourself! How can you be expected to do good productive work if you’re running on empty emotionally and physically? You can’t! So get yourself some emotional gas by taking some me-time. Laura C George, Business Coach for Creatives

Tuesday nights are my date nights with myself. I have my favorite food delivered. Light some aroma therapy candles and give myself a clay mask facial and read. Kenetia, Beauty Activist

I show myself love by honoring and taking care of myself. As a mom that can be very challenging, because the kids needs come first. Once a month, I take a spa day @ home. Having been in the industry for year so I know the tricks of the trade, my session includes a mud mask, mani/pedi; ends with a hot shower and Shea butter rub down. After all that I can’t help but feel recharged and ready to take on the world or at least another day. Thank you for your consideration. Sherrie Tennessee, MBA, Director of Education, Sherrie Tennessee Consulting

I make my living from my art, but for over a decade I rarely made time to create art just for me, to feed my own soul. Then earlier this year I started a practice of “playing in the Creative Sandbox” every day, making art, even for just 15 minutes. It doesn’t sound like much, but that one small act of love for myself has literally transformed my life! Those of us with a hunger to create absolutely need to feed that hunger — it’s the most loving thing we can do for ourselves. Melissa Dinwiddie – Artist, Inspirationalist, Creative Coach

I have 4 ways to show my self love each month.?1. I buy a new designer perfume not the fake kind I used to buy.?2. I get a facial.?3. I give something to charity knowing it is more blessed to give than to receive.?4. I buy a new jewelry item each month.?These are things that make me feel good and loved by me. Dana Rankin

One morning as I was brushing my teeth I noticed these words echoing in my mind, ‘you are so ugly, no one will ever really love you.’ As I continued brushing my teeth I thought, this is abuse and I am the abuser. So now when I see my reflection in the mirror I say aloud (allowed), “I Love You.” And since there are mirrors in my house, in my car visor and store windows reflect my image as well – I have many opportunities throughout the day to nourish self love. Susyn Reeve, Self Esteem Expert and author of The Inspired Life: Unleashing Your Mind’s Capacity for Joy and Choose Peace and Happiness

More an endorsement of life than love, I try to apply this exhortation on a daily basis: “If you do nothing else today, do something good for your body.” So I head to the gym first thing every morning. Dr. Marlene Caroselli, , keynoter, and corporate trainer and author of over 60 books, including Hiring and Firing, and Principled Persuasion, named a Director’s Choice by Doubleday Book Club

One of the ways I show myself love is by making myself a gourmet dinner. I buy fresh ingredients and an excellent bottle of wine. When I get home I put on some soft music and cook a delicious gourmet meal. Cooking is a great way for me to be present in the moment. It makes me slow down and focus on just one task, clearing my head of clutter. Then I enjoy my creation. Angela Betancour, PR Practitioner and writer @angiebetancourt

To show myself love, I study the Bible and apply its teachings to my life. Since the Bible was written by our Heavenly Father Yahweh God Almighty to guide us in living according to His will, and provide ageless principles, I can be assured that I’m living a life that’s worthwhile, purposeful, and fulfilling. Above all, reading the Bible and applying its lessons is how I can develop and maintain a sacred relationship with Yahweh and His Son Jesus Christ. Such a relationship is priceless, the gift of a lifetime, and it’s all mine!” Dr. Shirley Cheng, Gospel Proclaimer, Bible Teacher, and Founder of Ultra-Ability.com Ministry

Try some of these tips to say “I love Me!” The better you feel from showing yourself love, the stronger your self-love will become!
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Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge–a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the next 31 days–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts from 2011 HERE.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.

Read more: http://blog.beliefnet.com/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat/2012/01/how-do-i-love-me-more-suggestions-from-pros.html#ixzz1kKIgxtFH

C' mon- get happy!

15 Tips to Boost Your Well-Being and Happiness

By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S.

Taking better care of your body boosts yourwell-being fairly fast. “[Exercising and eating well] provide nearly instant benefits, helping the body and the mind to manage most any difficulties, including anxiety anddepression,” according to clinical psychologist and certified life coach John Duffy, PsyD. In fact, this is the first thing Duffy discusses with new therapy clients.

In addition to nourishing your body and participating in physical activities you enjoy, there are many other ways you can improve your mental health.

According to clinical psychologist Ryan Howes, Ph.D, “well-being is associated with balance, understanding, acceptance and constant growth.” Below you’ll find 15 ways to help you flourish and bolster your well-being.

1. Accept your emotions. “Some would argue that most of our physical, mental and relational problems come from our inability to adequately experience emotions,” Howes said. “We deny, bury, project, rationalize, medicate, drink away, smother in comfort food,sleep off, sweat out, suck (it) up and sweep under the rug our sadness, anger and fear.”

Some people spend more energy on avoiding their emotions than others do on actually feeling them, he said. So the key is to give yourself unconditional permission to feel your feelings. “When you feel safe enough to let your guard down, whether that’s alone or with someone you trust, you can focus on the situation, fully experience the feelings and may then be able to better understand why it hurts and what you want to do about the situation,” Howes said.

Writing about negative emotions also helps. According to clinical psychologist Darlene Mininni, research has shown that people who write about their deepest emotions are less depressed and more positive about life than before they started writing. To reap the benefits, it’s important to follow a few guidelines. Here’s Mininni’semotional writing guide.

2. Take daily risks. Structure and routine are important. But you also might get stuck in a rut. And that means you’re not growing, Howes said. Taking certain risks can be healthy and rewarding, he said.

“Challenge yourself to take a risk each day, whether it’s talking to someone new, asserting yourself, trusting someone, dancing, setting a tough workout goal or anything that pushes you out of your comfort zone.”

3. Live in the present. “Mental health tends to become challenged when we get sucked into what used to happen or what people ‘did to me’ rather than taking responsibility in what I am doing or creating today, right now,” according to psychotherapist Jeffrey Sumber. He encouraged readers to live in the present without hyperfocusing on the future or the past.

4. Be introspective. Avoid coasting through life without assessing yourself, Sumber said. For instance, he periodically asks himself questions such as “Am I in denial about anything or resisting anything anywhere in my life?”

Duffy also suggested stepping back and considering where your thoughts, feelings and behaviors are coming from. You might ask: Is that thought helpful? It that behavior necessary? Is there a better option?

5. Laugh. “Sometimes, we take life far too seriously,” Duffy said. Need proof? Duffy ran across information that revealed that kids laugh about 200 times per day; adults laugh an average of 15 times per day. He suggested everything from seeing a funny movie to playing games like Charades or Apples to Apples.

6. Determine and live your personal values. “[Your values] serve as an ‘inner GPS system’ that guides you through life, helping you make the right decisions and keeping you on track,” said Megan Walls, CPC, PCC, ELI-MP, a certified executive and life coach and owner ofConscious Connection. “Knowing and living your values will lead to a sense of balance, confidence and fulfillment.”

7. Identify and use your individual strengths. Using your strengths, Walls said, helps you feel energized and empowered. Not sure what your strengths are? Walls recommended Tom Rath’s StrengthsFinders 2.0, which features 34 strength themes and an assessment.

8. Keep tabs on your thoughts. Without even knowing it, you might be caught in a vicious cycle of negative thoughts, which seem to sprout naturally. Not only do these thoughts sink our mood but we also start to see them as truths.

Fortunately, we can work through these thoughts and see them for what they are: untrue and changeable. Walls suggested monitoring your thoughts and challenging and replacing negative ones. (Here arefour questions to ask to reduce automatic negative thoughts.)

9. Practice gratitude. “You’ll find you shift your overall outlook on life when you come form a perspective of gratitude,” Duffy said. He suggested readers make a list of three things they’re thankful for every morning.

Another idea is to recite at least 10 reasons why you’re grateful for your job, according to Master Certified life and career coach Kristin Taliaferro. “Look for unexpected surprises such as ‘my sunny office window’ or ‘cool work friends to have lunch with.’”

For inspiration, you might check out Living Life as a Thank You by Mary Beth Sammons and Nina Lesowitz. It’s filled with inspiring stories of gratitude, according to Duffy.

10. Discover or rediscover a passion. Take the time to consider your passions. For instance, Duffy’s wife recently tried painting, and found that she loves it and is really talented. “Without a doubt, it has done great things for her overall sense of well-being,” he said.

11. Do what makes you happy first thing. Sometimes it can feel like you’re going through your days on autopilot, and that can get tedious and depressing. Start your day off on a positive note by engaging in an enjoyable activity every morning.

One of Taliaferro’s clients started swimming at a YMCA pool in the a.m. She told Taliaferro that it’s completely shifted her outlook and lifted her mood.

12. Get rid of rotten eggs. “There’s usually at least one rotten egg in your life that’s dragging down your mental outlook,” Taliaferro said. For example, some of Taliaferro’s clients are especially affected by the news. One of her clients decided that if it’s not on the AOL homepage then she doesn’t need to know about it.

Identify your rotten eggs and figure out how to remove them. Your rotten eggs might seem small. But even annoyances can add up and chip away at your mood and well-being.

13. Surround yourself with positive scents and sounds. Our surroundings can affect our well-being. “You can create a positive feeling at home with lemon, peppermint or other essential oils you love,” Taliaferro said. She plays different kinds of music regularly depending on what she’s in the mood for.

14. Get inspired. Find inspiration in everything from subscribing to a daily quote (like this one) to listening to uplifting audio books on the way to work to reading magazines with exciting ideas, Taliaferro said. Duffy also suggested reading Inspiration by Wayne Dyer, which is one of his favorites.

15. Carve out time to meditate. “Protect a few minutes each day to sit, relax and breathe,” Duffy said. People tend to think that meditation is complicated. But you don’t need much time or effort to meditate, and it’s quite soothing. Try this super simple meditation