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Monday, December 21, 2009

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NONFICTION SELF-INTERVIEWS Nick Belardes: The TNB Self-Interview by N.L. BELARDES BAKERSFIELD 18 December 2009 Here we are on the San Joaquin Valley train, riding from Fresno, California to Bakersfield, California with Nick Belardes: author, poet, news guy, and artist. What do you think about train rides, Nick? Peaceful. Better than driving. Way better than a bus. The passenger train out of Bakersfield only heads northward into the Great Central Valley. We pass oil wells, emus in back yards, kids on ATVs slinging mud from spinning tires, and farmland like you’ve never seen. From Fresno it’s kind of the same thing, only today we might witness a gang shooting as we leave the station. What were you doing in Fresno? I headlined the Inner Ear Poetry Jam at Full Circle Brewery. In specific I was there to read a poem called “The Devil and His Goblins.” What's it about? The Central Valley. (Which I’m also writing a book about. It's titled City of Dirt: Critical Essays on the Southern Central Valley.) The poem is about the valley, a place with one of the worst foreclosure rates in America, hatred against Latinos, the threat to end the Modern Language Programs at CSU Bakersfield, and more. There’s also a rich legacy of Yokut Native American mythos and culture here in this 300-mile-long valley found within the poem. On top of that, the poem was intended as a performance piece for Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos) in which I was painted like the Devil when I read it. The poem has made many rounds in academic circles worldwide and is now part of a cultural and heritage program that bridges the U.S. and China. So really you’re not much of a poet? Sure I am, although I can’t memorize them very well. At a poetry reading in Bakersfield I read a poem off my cell phone. I wanted to be the first in Bakersfield to do that. I try to be a claim to fame for as many meaningless things as possible. Like writing the first original literary novel on Twitter, or being the first on my block when I was a kid to crash a bike into a pole. You just went on a book tour for your book of oddities, Random Obsessions? Yes, I toodled around LA, the Central Valley and into the Bay Area. Newspapers and radio have been good to me. I got to go on TV news stations in Fresno and San Francisco. The TV stations in Bakersfield, though there are three of them, all ignored my book. But that says something about the state of the arts in the Southern Central Valley and their disconnectedness with television. I still have hope for KGET. News anchor Kiyoshi Tomono wears cool suits and he’s Asian. I hear Asian people love Random Obsessions. I’m not lying. I was randomly told by my publisher just recently that my book is hot in the Philippines. I thought I saw an old Chinese man wandering with my book in Chinatown in San Francisco. But it might have just been a giant fortune cookie. Either way, I’m holding out for Kiyoshi as that media bridge between television, the literary arts, and all the little old ladies who think he’s sexy on TV. I keep hearing you say that Random Obsessions is the ultimate gift for Christmas, birthdays, Halloween and more. Why? Well, just think about it. Every kid in America (and the Philippines I guess) loves trivia. They’ll pull my book out of their Christmas stockings (instead of coal and old gummy worms) and start reading these crazy facts about Mothman, devilish architecture in the nation’s Capital, weird cult movies, crazy tree-man diseases, and Thomas Jefferson’s ax-wielding grandson. They’ll literally blab this stuff while the yule log is blazing on TV in their cheesy living rooms, which are a metaphor for all that’s good and wholesome in America. I read that there’s a tie-in with Random Obsessions and some of the people on The Nervous Breakdown? Sure is. Brad Listi wrote the introduction. I interviewed Erika Rae about a bone-filled Ossuary and some weird haunted temple behind a Buddhist tower in Colorado. Apparently, she’s pretty well haunted too. I hear she lives in the Rockies like some kind of old hermit busting out babies and having them all work digging caves and cemetery plots. It’s kind of cool. I also talk about Jessica Anya Blau and Lauren Baratz-Logsted in the book. I’m still waiting for some free promo from all these people or at least the coupons for canned corn they promised me in the mail. Hold on, the train is stopping. Does this happen very often? Trains stop because engineers like to take a piss on the wheels now and then. That’s interesting. So who is your publisher for Random Obsessions? Viva Editions. They’re new and an imprint of Cleis Press. They write about sex. Viva is mainstream. And you want to know what’s odd? Brenda Knight, who is the Associate Publisher for Viva Editions is from West Virginia. People from her family knew Mothman! I think they played cards together. Smoked out. It’s all in the book. In fact, Mothman is sort of a bookie. Is that a smashed-up coffee truck over there on that nearby frontage road? Why, I think it is. So the engineer just lied when he said we were just stopping for a moment? Look at all those sirens! INTERRUPTION. ENGINEER. INTERCOM: “SORRY FOLKS. LOOKS LIKE WE HIT A COFFEE TRUCK. WE’RE JUST GOING TO GET THEIR INSURANCE INFORMATION…” Insurance info? Good idea. A train wreck! Inspiring! Wait a minute. Some guy is hitting on a woman behind you. That’s odd. Definitely. And tweetable. I’m on Twitter. Let me just poke fun at all of this and post a photo. There. Oh, let me add: “Dude using train wreck as excuse to hit on chick.” That ought to make my followers laugh. Oh that’s good. Let me try. Can I? Sure. Here… “Chick sounds like an opera singer the way she’s shrilly talking to that dude.” This is fun. So, on Twitter you just post your thoughts and anyone can read them? Oh yeah. It’s fun. You can say, “Fuck off, Obama” and feel pretty confident he’s not paying attention. Nice. You promote a lot through Twitter? Of course. You have to build an audience every way you can. Like how else? Well, I have a bit part in a movie called The Lackey which is written and directed by Shaun Piccinino of Spike TV. It’s this crazy gangster film and I play this hitman boss named Dimitri who tells a guy nicknamed “The Russian” go and off some people. I think there’s going to be some nudity in my scene. Not me. But hey. I’m not complaining. T & A sells. I’m also on Facebook and I do a lot of writing for other news sites to get my name out there. Why is someone screaming your name on the train? Do you have fans everywhere? Well yes, I do have a lot of Filipino fans, but they’re usually in their island nation. Some of them kill each other over politics. Though I hope my book isn’t inspiring any of that crap. Excuse me, Nick. There’s a woman standing next to you. She has a phone with your photo on it. She’s saying, “I follow you on Twitter.” I know. Shut the heck up for a second. Let me talk to her. OK. To woman: Hi. What’s your name? Woman: Samantha KnJoi. I follow you. I’m an opera singer. Uh, you do? You are? You’re serious? Did you read everything I just tweeted? Not yet. But I’m about to! How did you find me? I recognized your glasses. See ya. Interviewer. Hey, Nick, she’s gone. You’re an idiot. She’s going to know you were bagging on her. I thought you said Twitter was safe? Yeah, I thought it was. I mean, I didn’t expect a train wreck or that a random opera singer would be following me on Twitter. Maybe I should go try and get a lift with that coffee truck. One of those fire engines might take me the rest of the way to Bakersfield. Maybe you should make friends. Give the girl a book or something. Try to pull it off that you’re a comedian of sorts. But I’m not a comedian. You’re not much of a poet, either. Bite me, asshole. Fine. I’ll give her my books. But I’m not signing them. What the hell would I write? “Nice train-wrecking with you"? Well, before you do that can we finish our interview? OK. Hurry up. I’m getting seasick. So you have written some top news for CNN.com and other news sites? Yes. I’m a journalist and a master of news site strategy. I once wrote about a family of beavers that was going to be terminated. I think 300,000 people clicked on that story in one day. I’ve also written about Captain America, plane crashes, orange water, pesticide drift, and the Bakersfield band Korn, all of which graced the home page of CNN. I’ve also written popular creative nonfiction here on TNB with titles like “The Magical Pig of Akron,” “Underwear Dreams,” and “Ancient Story of the Samurai Rat.” On Bakotopia I wrote about Harry Potter that made their second-most popular article ever, and, I once wrote about bugs in peanut butter clusters that made CNN and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno all in the same day. Do you make much money at it? Not really. But it’s cool to say that I wrote a news story that got picked up by mainstream television and embarrassed a man who just wanted fairness from his local 99-cent store. I mean, he didn’t ask to almost eat bugs. By the way, his story, though weird, wasn’t even weird enough for my book. I mean heck, inRandom Obsessions you can read about bridge disasters, hen-sized dinosaurs and microscopic killer worm bugs. Boy that coffee truck driver sure is screwed out of his Xmas bonus for trying to beat that train... Yeah. Goodness, that’s intense. What else are you working on? A documentary about myself as a writer, the book of essays I mentioned, possibly a trivia book on the Central Valley, more movie scripts. I just wrote one called Two Suit Killer and working on another titledJourneyman. A book by Jonathan Evison coming out titled West of Here has some of my map illustrations in it. I wrote a kid’s book titled Timothy Egg. Mostly I’m working on a YA series (young adult) with the first book titled A Serendipitous Garden Of Lies. I held an event in Bakersfield at Russo’s Books recently where I read the whole backstory for it, a piece titled, “The December Scribe.” It was standing room only. The people loved it. OK, that’s it. I have to go to the bathroom.

Words of Wisdom from Susyn Reeve

SELF-ESTEEM-EXPERTS.com

Daily Inspiration: Thoughts to Live By

• You shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of human activities.
• You shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.
• You shall not carry grudges, for they are the heaviest of all life's burdens.
• You shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway.
• You shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.
• You shall not borrow other people's problems. They can better care for them than you.
• You shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now.
• You shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own.
• You shall not become bogged down by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.
• You shall count your blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.
  - Author Unknown
  

♥ ♥ ♥

Practice: Create Your Personal List of Thought to Live By

• Write your personal list of thoughts to live by.
• Read your list regularly as a way to stay focused on the thoughts you choose to live by.
• When you lose your focus, acknowledge yourself for your awareness and then re-commit to your personal thoughts to live by.

Today's Affirmation: My life is a reflection of my personal list of thoughts to live by.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Ten Tips to WIn in 2010!

Our dear author BJ Gallagher shares this indispensible wisdom from Chellie Campell of "It's Never Too Late To Be What You Might Have Been:"

“If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced." — Vincent Van Gogh

1. Do Daily Affirmations. Great success begins with thinking positive thoughts about yourself and your expectations for your future. Affirmations are designed to help you with this process, but they only work if you say them. Knowing about them isn’t the same as doing them. Try these favorites of mine: “People love to give me money!” “I am rich and wonderful!” “All my clients praise me and pay me!” “I now receive large sums of money just for being me!”

2. Send out Ships. Thinking positive is your first step to living rich, inside and out. But it is not enough. You have to take action to achieve your goals. I call this “Sending Out Ships.” In the nineteenth century, the merchants in London built grand, tall-masted sailing ships that would visit foreign ports and trade for gold, jewels, silks, and spices. When the ship would return laden with treasure the merchant’s fortune was made. That’s where the expression “I’m waiting for my ship to come in,” comes from. But some people are going down to the dock, waiting for their ship to come in—but they haven’t sent any out! If you want fortune to arrive on the next wave, you’ve got to send out some ships to go get it.

3. Practice Little Actions. Your life is the sum total of all the little actions you take, your daily habit patterns. Successful people are those whose daily habits add up to something great. You don’t suddenly one day, write a book. You write a paragraph today. Then tomorrow, you write another one. And the next day, another. If I want to lose twenty pounds, each day I have to choose low fat foods and vegetables and omit hot fudge sundaes and brownies. If I want to play the piano beautifully, I have to practice scales today instead of watch television or play baseball. If I want to sell my product or service, I have to confront my fears and make a phone call to a stranger today. I must, each day, send out the little canoes before I am ready to launch a cruise ship.

4. Count Your Money. To achieve success, you must think positive and send out ships. But if you want to achieve financial success, you have to add the third step: Count your money. Keeping track of how much you’re making, how much you’re spending, and how much you’re saving will tell you how effectively you’re doing the first two steps. In other words, budget. That stands for Baby-U-Deserve-Getting-Every-Thing! Maybe you’re on Low Budget now, but write up your High Budget for when your ships come in!

5. Write “Thank you!” on all your checks. It is important for your personal prosperity to take joy in the process of sending other people money. As you write the check, use the credit card, or pay the cash for your purchase, know that you are creating financial benefits for many unseen individuals who make their living from these transactions. Smile and write “Thank you!” on the bottom of every check or receipt. “Thank you!” that I can buy this wonderful product or service that I want. “Thank you!” for providing it for me. “Thank you!” that I have the money to buy it—and that the check is good.

6. Make a Magic Money Wish List. Every so often, as I worked within my budget, I would think of something extra I wanted that wasn’t on it. It could be something practical like new piece of computer equipment or it could be something fun or extravagant like new clothes or jewelry. Whenever I thought of something, I wrote it down on a piece of paper I labeled it my “Magic Money Wish List”. Without paying much attention to it, I started regularly receiving extra money. In fact, the amounts I received almost always totaled the amount of money I needed to buy the things on this list! I suddenly became conscious of what I was doing. I was naming a goal, writing it down, and telling my subconscious and the Universe to create it for me. Try this – it works!

7. Swim With Dolphins. There are three kinds of fish in the sea: Dolphins, Sharks and Tuna. Dolphins are wonderful creatures: intelligent, happy, and playful. They communicate; they swim in schools. They’ve been known to ward off a shark attack and protect the other fish. Sharks are eating machines. Their job is to eat you. If you find yourself in the water with a shark, put your shark fin on or get out of the water. Tuna fish are food. They whine a lot. Think everything that happens to them is somebody else’s fault. Sharks don’t want to pay you and Tuna can’t. Real money is made when you have Dolphins on your team.

8. Don’t Give up the Ship. We’ve all heard stories of the “overnight success”—and the one, fabulous break that meant stardom for someone. In reality, it took them ten or twenty years of hard work to get to that one lucky moment. Jon Bon Jovi wanted to be a rock star He worked as a janitor for two years and on the side, he made fifty demo records in pursuit of his dream. Finally, one of his songs made it on the radio. It became an instant hit and Jon put together a band and got a recording contract. But it wasn’t until their third album, Slippery When Wet, that national fame arrived and fortune followed. Sharon Stone worked in films for more than ten years before Basic Instinct made her a superstar. I imagine that she thought any number of the films that she made before that one might be her “lucky break” film. King Solomon’s Mines? No. The Year of the Gun? No. What if these people had given up before their big success arrived? Don’t you do it!

9. It’s Never Too Late. Colonel Sanders, of Kentucky Fried Chicken Fame, began his business at age sixty-five, after he received his first Social Security check, looked at the tiny amount of money and decided, “This will never do!” The only thing he could think of to sell was the great recipe he had for fried chicken. Over one thousand restaurants turned down his approach for a partnership. Then one said yes. Then another and another. Overnight success. A friend of mine went back to school to get her Ph.D. Friends told her, “But you’ll be 50 before you get it!” She said, “I’m going to be 50 anyway – with it or without it. I’d rather be 50 with a Ph.D.!” And she was.

10. Lighten Up on the Way to Enlightenment. Learn to live rich, inside and out. Focus on joy, happiness, your relationship with God, your relationships with other people, the meaning of life, and the mission of your life. Rich or poor, you can meditate and pray and make these your priorities. When you are joyful and grateful for what you have, you create the space for more. When you sense that there is a purpose to life and a mission within it for you to fulfill, then you act in harmony with God and the Universe. Open yourself to manifesting abundance in all areas of life, including financial success, knowing that you will use it honorably and with wisdom for the good of all around you.


I hope this list helps you win often and win big in this New Year of the New Decade!

Please feel free to copy this article and use it wherever you like. Just include the following “author box” for attribution:
Chellie Campbell is the creator of the Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops, and author of The Wealthy Spirit and Zero to Zillionaire. She has been prominently quoted as a financial expert in the Los Angeles Times, Good Housekeeping, Lifetime, Essence, Woman’s World and more than 50 popular books. She can be reached atChellie@chellie.com

Save $ and still give generously!

Some Great Holiday Gift Ideas from The Frugal Foodie Cookbook

The Frugal Foodie Cookbook not only features tasty recipes that stretch the food dollar but also includes fun and useful tips for kids projects, beauty remedies and edible gifts.

Here are some great holiday gift idea recipes straight from the pages of The Frugal Foodie Cookbook:

1. Hot chocolate on a spoon

• 12 ounces chocolate, milk or semisweet, chopped or 2 cups chocolate chips


• 20 heavy-duty plastic spoons
  

Instructions: Melt the chocolate in the microwave or in a double broiler over low heat, stirring until smooth. Dip a spoon in the chocolate, moving it around to cover most of the bowl of the spoon.

Set the spoon down on a sheet of waxed paper to cool. Wrap the bowl of the spoon in plastic wrap and tie with a ribbon.

Spoons can be stirred into warm milk to make hot chocolate or hot coffee for a flavored café treat. (Makes about 20 spoons) = YUM!


2. Bath Cookie Crumbles

• 1 ½ cups Epsom salt


• ½ cup oatmeal


• ½ cup baking soda


• ½ cup cornstarch


• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon


• 2 tablespoons olive oil


• 1 teaspoon vitamin E oil, baby oil, or your favorite massage oil


• 2 eggs

Instructions: Preheat oven to 350, mix all ingredients in a large bowl.

Gently roll dough into 1 –inch balls. Place dough balls on an ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake bath cookies for 10 minutes until lightly browned. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely.

Crumble 2 cookies into a warm bath. (Makes 24 bath cookies) = Simply divine!

The Frugal Foodie Cookbook is available at all major book sellers including Amazon

Love the book reading bloggers!

Review: The Frugal Foodie Cookbook

Summary: Big Taste for Small Change

Lara Starr is a baker, blogger, and a cook with a calculator. Lynette Shirk is a four-star Frugal Foodie who has cooked at Masa's, Postrio, ChezPanisse, and Williams-Sonoma. Together they have cooked up a recipe-filled guide to eating better than ever on less. The Frugal Foodie Cookbook will show you how to creatively and cleverly use ingredients and leftovers to produce wonderful, inexpensive meals for any occasion.

The Frugal Foodie Cookbook covers everything from roasting coffee at home to concocting inexpensive, crave-worthy casseroles and whipping up snacks on a budget. Starr and Shirk feature irresistible recipes like Shaves Shrimp Rolls, Gourmet PBJ, and Exponential Chicken—which stretches the bird over five different courses. With hundreds of delicious dishes and expert advice, The Frugal Foodie Cookbook will keep you living well and eating better. -- Viva Editions

I am a major sucker for cookbooks -- I own a lot of them! And it's not because I'm such a wonderful chef or even that I try new recipes very often. Rather, it's just because I love looking through cookbooks and getting ideas. Strange, right? It's definitely genetic because my grandmother and my sister do the same thing. In fact, we'll just sit around together looking at cookbooks and read the recipes to each other!

So when I was offered the chance to take a look at THE FRUGAL FOODIE COOKBOOK: WASTE-NOT RECIPES FOR THE WISE COOK by Lara Starr with Lynette Shirk, I jumped at the chance. Not only did this sound like a cute cookbook, but it appeared to be a very practical one. I was definitely interested in checking this book out, and I figured that it would be great if I could find a new recipe or even just learn a thing or two about saving money.

I think one of the reasons that this book appealed to me is because I like to think I'm frugal -- or maybe the word is cheap. I cut coupons and love to feel like I'm getting a deal. Sometimes, though, my efforts to save money end up costing us more. Despite my best efforts, my family wastes a lot of food. I often times buy too much and we never get around to eating it. Plus, anytime I make a lot of something, we tend to end up throwing it away. You see, we aren't the best family for eating left-overs.

I have to say that I thought THE FRUGAL FOODIE COOKBOOK was terrific! And it's just perfect for someone like me. Not only did it have some great, economical recipes (and who doesn't look for that during these times), but the recipes also were very easy. I've decided that if a cookbook doesn't have quick and simple recipes with "normal" ingredients, then I'm not interested in it no matter how delicious the food might be. It's all about practicality with me at this stage of my life!

While I did thoroughly appreciate THE FRUGAL FOODIE COOKBOOK, I do have one small complaint. And that is that there weren't any pictures of the recipes. (Having said that, there were some black and white illustrations in the book.) Not having color pictures isn't a deal-breaker for me by any stretch, but I do enjoy seeing photos of the finished products. Of course, I did think the cost of the book at $15.95 was reasonable; and it probably would have cost much more with color photographs in it.

I was actually surprised how much more there was to this cookbook than just recipes. I mean that in the very best of ways because I thought the ideas in this book are what made it really special. Besides chapters with recipes for breakfasts, brunches, lunch, snacks, and dinners, there were also sections on party planning, kids' food (including homemade food for babies), and thrifty gifts. There were also loads of "Frugal Foodie Tips" interspersed throughout the chapters which I found very interesting as well as helpful! I especially enjoyed seeing the "recipes" for inexpensive and homemade spa/beauty items.

As I read THE FRUGAL FOODIE COOKBOOK, I couldn't help but think how many of my friends would also appreciate this book. If you are still looking to buy some gifts, I think this cookbook would make a great one. It is a small, paperback cookbook and would look adorable as part of a gift basket! Of course, that's assuming you'd be willing to part with it. In addition to the recipes, there are also tons of cute, homemade gift ideas that would be perfect for family, friends, and teachers during this holiday season.

I thought THE FRUGAL FOODIE COOKBOOK was adorable and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it to women like me who want to save money while also making delicious (and easy) food! Thanks to the publisher for sending me a copy of this book.

What readers are saying about Living Life as a Thank You!

We just got a phone call to the office about Living Life As a Thank You and I wanted to share it with all of you. The man on the phone is a retired psychologist and picked up your book expecting not much. He said he's seen so many books that promise something substantial, but deliver nothing, but this one was different. He says that everything said in the book is so true and important and he's been recommending it to his friends, which is a big deal because he has never recommended a book before. He will be doing a cancer patient workshop and will be recommending the book there too.

Bj Gallagher and the art of giving thanks

WE GIVE THANKS BY …

AWAKENING each day with an attitude of gratitude.
BEING HUMBLE about our role in the universe.
COUNTING OUR BLESSINGS … often.
DELIGHTING in simple pleasures.
ENCOURAGING those who need our support.
FORGIVING those who have disappointed or hurt us.
GIVING what we can to help others.
HUGGING our loved ones ... family, friends, and pets.
INCLUDING those who have no close friends or family.
JUGGLING our commitments to both work and family.
KEEPING A LIGHT IN THE WINDOW for those who have lost their way.
LOVING others unconditionally.
MAKING ROOM for one more person at the table.
NEVER FORGETTING to offer a prayer of thanks.
OPENING our hearts and our wallets to those in need.
PREPARING warm, nourishing holiday meals.
QUIETING our minds with prayer and meditation.
RECOGNIZING that blessings can show up in surprising ways.
SPEAKING kindly and compassionately to others.
TAPPING INTO SPIRITUAL WISDOM to guide us.
UNDERSTANDING that blessings are meant to be shared.
VEERING AWAY from resentments and anger.
WORKING for an end to hunger ... both physical and spiritual.
XPRESSING appreciation for all that others do for us.
YEARNING FOR AND WORKING FOR PEACE.
ZEROING IN on what's truly important in life.

WISHING YOU A WARM, WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING!

with love and laughter, BJ
www.danceintherainmovie.com

© BJ Gallagher 2009

Gratitude and giving - every day!

T Love Reiki

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2009

Living in Gratitude

Nina Lesowitz and Mary Beth Sammons were on the show last night to talk about their book: Living Life as a Thank You. What a great reference manual for each of us to use during those times when it seems almost impossible to find anything for which you are grateful.

The book is a compilation of true stories, touching on so many different life issues, surely everyone will be able to relate to one of them. Getting through life’s adversities is sometimes difficult, but being grateful, on a daily basis helps to get through them more easily.

If you wake up and can just remember to be grateful for that – when you think about it, THAT, waking up, is HUGE! Some people won’t wake up, but here WE are!

Daily gratitudes make for life transformations. Thank you, to be polite, is of course a gratitude. So is doing something for someone else. We can be grateful to have the opportunity TO do something for someone.

Driving in traffic, let a car out of the side street and watch as they then, in turn, let someone else out as well. It perpetuates, and it only brings more good things to those who are grateful.

Positive actions bring more positive actions. Gratitude in all things brings more things for which you may be grateful. It’s a wonderful circle that just keeps coming back to you with only positive and wonderful things.

We all have the resource of gratitude. We need only practice it. When we do, the results are immediate. I’ve done it just as an experiment to see what happens and I must admit, my life has transformed incredibly over the past few months. It has been most apparent over the past two to three weeks.

Try a little gratitude in your life and watch the results you receive. Here’s a tip to help you get started.

Clearing ourselves to let gratitude take precedence takes a bit of practice but once you see what happens, it becomes automatic. Be mindful of what you say and make an effort to correct all the negatives. For instance, when you say, oh, it’s a horrible day or it’s rainy and miserable, try to be aware that there is an opposing view. Follow it up by saying, this is a perfect day to get those indoor chores done, or the rain is good for the lawns and gardens and everything will now flourish. Those changes are both positive and they are filled with gratitude for what is and what is to be.

Writing down what you are grateful for also helps. Perhaps at the end of the day you can write down at least ONE thing that you are grateful for that occurred that day. You can, of course, be grateful for more but start small. Then add to it and when you get to a number that works for you, maintain that count each and every day.

If all live our lives as a thank you. We will all be on the right path to our happiness and we will be healthier, less stressed and we will have a whole lot more energy.

I am grateful for this opportunity to help those who wish to learn about living in gratitude.

Intending you all a most wonderful day!

Excellent advice from a wise woman, BJ Gallagher!

How to handle negative feedback in your career

By Associated Press business staff

November 09, 2009, 4:21PM

NEW YORK (AP) -- Whether it's a bad performance review or an unexpected scolding from the boss, negative feedback hits workers squarely in the ego.

It's never easy to hear that something is wrong with your work, your behavior or both. And maybe the criticism is unwarranted or unfair. But becoming angry or argumentative, which many people do, will only make matters worse.

Career consultants say there are ways to deal calmly with negative comments from the boss, and to turn painful feedback into a positive for your job and your career.

PUT YOUR EMOTIONS ON HOLD

When most people get negative feedback, their immediate reaction is to protect or defend themselves, said BJ Gallagher, a workplace consultant and author of "It's Never Too Late to Be What You Might Have Been." Workers want to prove the bosses wrong and convince them how hard they really work.

The key is to avoid those emotions, Gallagher said. Going on the defensive will only make you look uncooperative, get your boss angry and you won't get anything accomplished.

Instead, Gallagher recommended "throwing a circuit breaker" on your emotions and coming into any meeting with the intent to learn.

STEP BY STEP SUGGESTIONS

Keeping some of these recommendations in mind will help you get through the difficult period after the feedback lands.

-- Try to just take in the information. But do ask yourself, "Is this true? Am I doing something I'm not aware of? Or is the boss just in a bad mood?"

-- Ask questions. Make sure your boss gives you examples of the times when your performance wasn't up to par. Rumors fly in offices, and the feedback may not necessarily be accurate. If the boss says he or hears that you're frequently late or have a negative attitude toward certain tasks, ask for specific instances.

But even if the boss can't give you details, don't dismiss the feedback out of hand. Think of ways you can make the situation better.

-- Say thank you. It may sound trite, Gallagher said, but "a complaint is really a gift."

"It means (the boss) still cares enough to tell you how to improve," she said. "Negative feedback is better than no feedback."

-- Give your boss a "mission statement" that shows your commitment to improving your performance, recommends Joseph Grenny, author of "Crucial Confrontations." Say what you'll do to resolve the problems with your work.

-- Schedule another meeting. Asking for a chance to review your work again shows initiative and lets the boss know you want to do better.

More importantly, though, the next sit-down will give the boss a chance to see that your work or attitude has improved. All too often, Grenny said, bosses hold on to negative thoughts about an employee although the worker is doing better.

FORMAL REVIEWS

"A performance review is everybody's worst headache," Gallagher said. "The feedback can be painful and frustrating, even if you know it's coming."

Gallagher said most organizations handle performance reviews poorly, and don't always take the best interests of the employee into account. But you can try to make the process more constructive:

-- Do a self-appraisal. Even if your boss doesn't ask for one, do one anyway. It might open up more communication, Gallagher said, and you'll be able to point out things you don't agree with in the formal report.

-- Use "I'' language rather than "you" language in your response to the review, and focus on what you're going to do. That will help you stay away from accusations and avoid putting the boss on the defensive. Example: "I will try to update you about what I'm working on more frequently," rather than "You need to communicate better."

-- Avoid right and wrong. You won't make things better if you blame the boss. Instead, use active statements that show you're listening, such as: "Clearly, this isn't working for you. It isn't working for me, either. Let's focus on ways to make this better."

IS IT YOU, OR IS EVERYONE?

Managers can sometimes be prejudiced against workers, and build a case against employees they don't like, said Leigh Branham, owner of the human resources consulting firm Keeping The People Inc.

"We're promoting people into management that don't really fit," Branham said. "They're good with data, but often not good with people."

But, on the other hand, be careful you don't have a victim mentality.

Talk to your peers, and try to find out if they're in a similar situation with the boss. It may be that your company is changing the way it works, and that many employees, including you, are having a hard time adapting and that the boss is putting pressure on everyone.

THE NEXT STEP

So you've been handed a bad review or a big dose of criticism. But what if, after a lot of reflection, you believe the problem just isn't there or is your boss' fault?

If he or she treats everyone else well and is harsh on you, there's a chance that the relationship between you and the boss is simply broken, Gallagher said. Just like any relationship, there are some boss-employee pairings that just don't work.

If you get the sense you're not going to win the battle with your boss, you do have some options, including reaching out to human resources for mediation. You can appeal your review or file a grievance. If it's feasible, apply for a transfer.

Or, as a last result, you can quit -- but that's not something people take lightly in this economy.

"People are more willing to put up with more abuse now in this tight job market," Gallagher said. "It's like that old saying, 'the devil you know is better than the devil you don't.'"

But if you don't see things improving, quitting just might be the only solution. A stressful work environment can lead to all sorts of problems including sleep loss and digestion issues, Gallagher said.

And it pays for bosses to consider an employee's personal well-being, too. In her research, Gallagher has found that the No. 1 reason for absenteeism is a bad relationship with a boss.