Excerpt of the Day: "Total Flirt" by Violet Blue

Did you know there are two types of flirting?  Have you ever wished you could “just tell” if he was interested in you?  Whether you’re tired of waiting for your chance or you want to play for higher stakes, Total Flirt will teach you the tools of the flirting trade—and sexy secrets no girl should be without.  Under Violet Blue’s wise and helpful tutelage, readers learn how to walk like a siren, talk like a bombshell, and seduce like a vamp — and even do it all online!

Have a look:

The Flirting Game: Two Ways to Play

Flirting is a game that no girl should ever wait to play: you can play now or later, but flirting is too much fun to let the party pass you by. And besides, the legions of flirt fatales who enjoy the fruits of guys on tap could always use another talented secret agent to join in the quest for world domination (or the snaring of the sweetest heart in the sexiest package to keep all to herself).

The first step in our master plan is understanding the concept of flirting. Guys see girls who flirt in a number of ways: cute, sweet, annoying, sexually available (most guys mistake female attention for sexual interest), scary but exciting, thrilling, and slutty, or they’re relieved not to be guessing whether you’re interested at all. In later chapters you’ll find out how to navigate all of these situations and turn them to your advantage, even if that turns into “get me outta here!”

The most important thing to know about the concept of flirting is that there are two ways to flirt. There is flirting for fun, and there is flirting with intent. Flirting for fun is when you use all those wickedly wonderful smiles, teases, eyelash bats—many but not all of the flirting skills detailed in this book—for a playful tête-à-tête with someone you think is cute but who is off the menu. They may be off the menu for a variety of reasons: because he has a girlfriend (naughty you!), or she’s a friend of a friend, or he’s your gay pal who flirts back with feeling and fun. You don’t mean anything when you flirt for fun, except to feel saucy and make your friend feel the same. It’s reserved for people who feel safe to flirt with.

Flirting with intent is when you flirt with a goal. Your “flirtee” is your prey, and you are the huntress. Flirting with intent is a lot of fun; it’s when the person you flirt with could be more than a friend, and you want to find out what that “more” looks like. You are sure it looks sexy, and will look good on your arm. Flirting with intent is how we scope for dates and mates, and while it’s not uncommon to go from “fun” to “intent” in the span of a few beverages, usually when we’re going out to flirt with intent a conquest of some kind is already on our to-do list. It’s when you flirt and you mean it.

Flirt fatales in the know already know this: flirting for fun and flirting with intent don’t look or sound very different to your flirt target. Even when flirting with intent, our manner is playful and teasing. We may in fact be engaged in a serious attempt to assess someone’s suitability as a potential date—and to advertise our own perfectness for this position—but we do not conduct this mate-selection process like a job interview. We exchange glances, smiles, jokes, compliments, and touches, not résumés and experience. (No, never experience, ahem.)

Use the valuable tips in this guide to help you cultivate the perfect Flirt Mode for your goals. This guide is designed to help you meet your goals and avoid confusion. The initial stages of flirting with intent can look a lot like flirting for fun—and this similarity can be a source of confusion and misunderstanding.

Researchers have found that two-thirds of all flirting is initiated by women. Did you know? Get down with your bad self! Girl flirting is done so subtly and unobtrusively that most people think men take the initiative with sexual cues. Women use subtle cues and signals so discreetly that men are not consciously aware of them and so men usually believe they have made the first move. Many studies show that men are not consciously aware of female flirt signals to which they are clearly responding. You can call the shots anytime you feel like stepping into the game. So even if you come across a “pickup artist” who thinks he’s “always closing the deal” when he’s chatting you up—this guide will keep you on top of the flirting food chain, right where you belong.